What my future husband learned from me.
When Patrick and I first met, we didn’t have a ton in common on paper. He didn’t know a single Taylor Swift song, and I had never watched anime in my life. But one of the most beautiful things about our relationship has been how much we’ve expanded each other’s worlds — and how that expansion has deepened our connection.
In my recent post, I talked about how I’ve grown to love anime because of Patrick. After reading it, he pointed out all the things I’ve introduced him to — things like Goosebumps, Mike Flanagan shows, Shrinking, and, of course, Taylor Swift.
He’s a writer — one who often works in horror — so it’s funny that while he writes about dark and unsettling things, that’s not his go-to genre when it comes to watching TV or movies. He approaches horror from a completely different angle — one of symbolism, psychology, and story. But when I introduced him to Goosebumps and Mike Flanagan’s work, he found something refreshing in how those stories blend emotion and fear — how they use darkness to reveal humanity rather than just to scare.
And then there’s Taylor Swift. He didn’t know any of her songs when we met, but as a poet, he couldn’t help but be drawn into her lyrics once he started listening. Now, every once in a while, he’ll pause a song and say something like, “That’s such a powerful line,” and it always makes me smile.
These little exchanges — of shows, songs, stories — might sound small, but they represent something profound about love:
Healthy relationships are built on curiosity, not compatibility.
It’s not about having all the same interests from the start. It’s about wanting to understand what lights the other person up — and being willing to see it through their eyes.
That’s how you build emotional intimacy.
That’s how you create shared meaning.
That’s how you keep discovering each other — even years in.
When you approach love this way, it stops being about “finding your perfect match” and becomes about co-creatingsomething unique together. You stop searching for someone who fits perfectly into your life, and start building a life that fits you both.
So if you’re dating, remember this:
Don’t just look for someone who shares your interests — look for someone who shares your curiosity.
Someone who’s willing to grow, learn, and explore with you.
Because love that expands you will always last longer than love that merely mirrors you.
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